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Is this tool in your Leadership Toolkit?

PHILADELPHIA - Yesterday, I was flying to Philadelphia and reading the latest issue of "Success" magazine on the plane (Dec '08).

Several different, unrelated articles caught my eye, primarily because of a common thread running through each one.  The magazine issue itself did not have a theme, per se, but I spotted one.  It lunged at me.  Jumped off the page.

See if you can nail it in these five stories.  The same critically important "leader skill" is embedded in each one.

And you need to have it.

First...

Steven Spielberg's creative genius got an early start.  When he was just a kid, he created little stories as he filmed family trips, pets and friends.

To encourage him, his parents brought home a projector, rented movies and showed them to neighborhood kids on summer evenings.  Enterprising young Steven charged each kid 25 cents admission, and he donated all the money to charity.

This launched his movie career.

At 13, he created a 40-minute film, "Escape To Nowhere".  At 16, a 140-minute sci-fi adventure, "Firelight".  And when he was a Boy Scout, he borrowed his dad's 8mm camera and made a 9-minute film called "The Last Gunfight", to earn his photography merit badge.

Second...

TV cook Rachel Ray was shocked the day The Food Network handed her a $360,000 contract -- barely 24 hours after she did a brief food segment on the "Today" show.

And she's done very well since, parlaying that into broadcast stardom and guest shots on TV shows all over the dial.

All the while proclaiming she's a good cook, but not a chef, and has no formal culinary training.

She never BS'd the network, nor her audience.  Her "everyman" quality, frankly, is just what the TV execs were looking for, and she hit a grand slam with viewers.

Where'd she get that honest streak?  From her mother and mentor, who taught her "Decide who you are and don't try to pretend that you're something other than that."

Third...

Advertising mogul and host of TV's hit show "The Big Idea", Donny Deutsch tells of a talent producer for his show who had a dream of starting an image consulting business, but was befuddled on where to start.

Rather than kick her butt out the door for announcing she'd rather be doing something else, he helped her instead.  Advised her to take the next 10 weeks to shop for 10 different friends...for free... all so she could build a portfolio of satisfied clients.  Then beginning with #11, start charging.  A lot.

Twelve months later, she left to start her own company.  Deutsch's farewell gift?  A segment on his show that rocket-launched her business.

Next...

Mitch Albom, sportswriter for the Detroit Free Press and weekly contributor to ESPN-TV's "The Sports Reporters", has written three books.

Each became a worldwide best-seller.  Each got made into a TV movie.

And each one is about his mentors.

He wrote "Tuesdays With Morrie" about Brandeis University sociology professor Morrie Schwartz.

"The Five People You Meet In Heaven" included the protagonist, his Uncle Eddie.

And "For One More Day", his own mom served as the inspiration for the mother character.  His two most profound mentors, he says, were his mom and dad.

And finally...

NFL football star Warrick Dunn is considered one of the most charitable athletes in professional sports.  He buys homes for single mothers working multiple jobs -- and to date, he has put a roof over the heads of 78 single parents and 205 children.

Wow.  That'll activate the tear ducts.

He says none of his sports accomplishments can match the feeling of giving the keys to a home to a woman who has worked her whole life and never been able to afford one.

His inspiration?

His own mom, a Baton Rouge police corporal, who was shot and killed in an ambush while working a second job as a security guard -- leaving Warrick, the oldest at 18, to become man of the house to five younger brothers and sisters.  His mother's humble soul and proud spirit guided him in her absence.

She never owned a home.  Could never afford the down payment.

He's now fixing that for women just like her.

There.  That's all five.

Did you spot it?

Did you see the common thread running through the lives of those five leaders?

It's mentorship.

It's a leader helping someone less skilled, less able, more junior, more unsure.  To find her way.  To fulfill his dream.  To deal with the difficulties of life.  Guiding.  Teaching.  Encouraging.  Caring.  Setting the table for success.  And providing a sympathetic shoulder when plans go south.

Spielberg, Ray, Albom and Dunn each had mentors.  And enjoyed the benefit of aid and counsel from a master.

And Deutsch is a mentor.  He dramatically improved the life of a colleague.  In fact, his TV show has mentorship as its underpinning -- sharing stories of success that encourage others to break the shackles of their own lethargy.

It doesn't get any more personal than mentorship.

It's one-on-one, baby.

I contend that, in all my years on this planet, my greatest personal growth and development, in business and life, has come -- not from books or CDs.  Not from seminars or workshops.  Not from listening to speeches, sitting in training classes, or attending webinars.

Oh, make no mistake, I'm a high-volume student and user of all those.  Have been for 30+ years.  And every one has provided me an unending wealth of knowledge, inspiration, and actionable data.

But my greatest leaps in learning...

• have come from one-on-one mentorship...
• by a trusted leader, friend, colleague, coach, or relative...
• in private conversation.

That's where the gold is.

How about you?  Take a look at your own life.  I'm sure you can point to one or two people who have blessed you with their love, encouragement, and caring guidance.

But let's shift gears to something even more important.

LESSONS & ACTIONS FOR YOU:

What are you doing to actively mentor others?

To inspire their self confidence.  To help them identify and live their dreams.  To launch them into action.  To be their rock of Gibraltar when they stumble and fall.

There are few gifts so precious you can give another.  And as a leader, frankly, it's not just a nice thing to do.

It's your obligation.

It comes with the territory of leadership.  In my world, if you're not mentoring, you're not leading.

Here are seven suggestions for effective mentoring:

(1)  Listen more than you speak.  Listen for where the pain is.  Listen for where the dreams are.  It'll help you make it all about them, not about you.  Listening builds trust, and you can't be a successful coach without it.

(2) Emphathize. When your mentee has a setback, it's helpful to share a story of when you faced a similar experience.  And how you rebounded.  When we hear that our heroes have failed too, it serves as inspiration to get back on the horse and ride again.

(3) Help them find their passions.  Not just what they're good at, but what electrifies them with excitement.  Lots of people have a talent, but don't enjoy it.  You can help them two ways.  Find what REALLY turns them on.  Or realize the passion they already have for what they do, but just didn't see it.  Hold up the mirror.

(4) Show tough love when it's called for. Good coaching requires delivering bad news, too.  Holding firm boundaries.  Pushing them into uncomfortable terrain.  Saying what needs to be said to move them past their roadblocks.  Taking the risk they won't come back.

(5) Lead by example.  If you recommend one thing, but do another yourself, you're done.  Credibility shot.  Game over.  Walk your own talk.  That's the definition of integrity.

(6) Formalize it. Schedule regular time to be with your mentee(s).  Don't let it happen by chance -- it won't.  We're all too busy.  Schedule consistent, regular time each day or week or month.  Block it on your calendar.  Treat it as one of the most important meetings you'll have.  I recommend all leaders have coaching meetings -- not less than monthly -- with each direct report one-on-one.  Unplug the phone, take no emails, allow no interruptions.

(7) Make them write it down. Their passions, their values, their goals, their actions, their deadlines.  All of it.  Don't accept the flimsy "It's okay, I'll remember it" excuse.  That's BS.  Winners write down their plans and commitments -- it shows laser-focused intent.  I've told clients for years "If you don't write it down, you're just screwing with yourself.  Get serious, commit it to paper, or let's move on and talk about something that IS important to you."

Like all tasks worth doing, mentorship -- done right -- involves a disciplined, structured process.  It ain't happenstance.

Put that structure in place for those YOU mentor.  Your employees.  Fellow team members.  Friends.  Children.

Yes, leadership from a distance has value.  But limited.

Have the guts to get up close and personal.
__________________________________________________________

Rick Houcek is a regular contributor to MarketingHeadhunter.com.  Rick facilitates off-site strategic planning retreats, helping CEOs and Leadership Teams create high-impact plans that overcome the crippling effects of lousy execution and get successfully implemented.  His Power Planning strategic process drives action through his Escape-Proof Accountability system.  It's ideal for small and mid-size businesses.  To bring this potent weapon to your team, contact Rick by phone, fax or email.  Visit his web site at Soar with Eagles.com.  Ask about his 100% No-Risk Guarantee.

Rick Houcek on Leadership and "Mob Rule"

ATLANTA - Yesterday, I was watching a grainy old, black-and-white, gun-fighting western on TV.  I'd forgotten how much fun those were.

There came a point in the story where a man -- an outsider -- was walking down main street in a rough new settlement, when he was spotted by a local, who shouted at him "Hey, your kind is not wanted in this town."  Then he turned to other townfolk and yelled, "We don't want him, do we?  Let's show him what we do to foreigners."

At that moment, the townspeople who, up until then, had been going calmly about their business, angrily erupted into a loud, snarling mob.  They grabbed rocks, picked up clubs, drew guns, and charged hastily toward the unwanted man.  He was pelted and kicked and pounded and cursed -- when suddenly amidst the impromptu lynching, the sheriff appeared and saved the day by calling off the dogs, then locking the man up for his own safety.

It all happened in a matter of seconds.

I thought for a moment.  Not one of those townspeople knew anything about that man.  They didn't know what kind of husband or father he was.  Whether or not he was a law-abiding citizen.  They had no knowledge of his family or upbringing or job or values or contribution to the community.

Nothing.

They just knew one thing.

That a fellow townsman had angrily shouted at the top of his lungs that he should be gone.  Pronto.  That fellow townsman ALONE had passed judgment on the outsider.  HE ALONE had rendered a decision that the man was unfit to walk among them.  HE ALONE had decided the man must be taught a lesson.

And in a split second, he was able to convince a group of peaceful, mild-mannered citizens to join in his anger and maliciously punish the outsider.

How?

Mob rule.

It's that instantaneous moment when a group of people -- otherwise calm, decent and civil -- turn into an enraged, destructive mob by the violent urgings of one loud, infuriated person who rallies them into explosive action.

Hollywood loves to insert these volcanic moments into movie storylines.  I laugh at the silliness and the quickness of the fickle masses to join in.  It's fiction, after all.

But hey, mob rule is not always make-believe.  Happens in everyday real life, too.

I saw it happen live on Dr. Phil.  Unlike the movie, it was non-violent, but it was mob rule nonetheless.

Here's what happened.  A few months ago, right after New York Governor Eliot Spitzer had resigned in disgrace, awash in a prostitution ring, his scandal was the topic of the day on the Dr. Phil show.  Shortly before, Spitzer had resigned his governorship in a news conference while his dejected-looking wife Silda stood beside him.  The question being discussed was:  Given the gravity of the situation and how he disgraced his wife, should she have accompanied him to the podium?

Robin McGraw, Phil's wife, said she would never accompany Phil under similar circumstances.  No way.  She was firm, decisive, and crystal clear in her words and tone.  To her, the dishonor and disrespect of his actions would cause her to let him take the heat alone.  Her support, her love, and her respect, at that point, would be gone.  The audience, mostly women, erupted in thunderous applause.  As a viewer, it sounded like the full audience -- or close to it -- was agreeing with her.

This is a tempered, non-violent example of mob rule.  An articulate person states a clear, sound position that makes sense, and listeners are persuaded to stand in support.  Regardless of what they may have thought beforehand.

But wait -- then something else happened.  Bishop T.D. Jakes, spiritual leader and author, who was a guest on the show, then said this, and I'm paraphrasing:  We're only seeing a small portion of their marriage on camera.  We don't know what their marriage is like without cameras.  She accompanied him for her reasons and we can't pretend to know what those reasons are.  We just have to respect them.

Hmmm.  Makes sense.  Then, more thunderous applause from the audience.

More articulate persuasion.  More mob rule.

But hold on a minute.  This, too, sounded like the full audience applauding.  So how can two opposing viewpoints be supported by the very same people?

Answer:  That's how mob rule works.

It plays on the fact that the large majority of people are followers -- waiting for a leader to establish a direction, announce a cause, or express an opinion they can agree with -- so they can jump on the bandwagon and follow it.  And they'll sway in the breeze, leaping from one viewpoint to the next, if each sounds good enough.  I do not mean to suggest that Robin McGraw or J.D. Jakes had "mob rule" in mind as an intentional outcome when they voiced their opinions.  But even so ... it happened.

Some most certainly DO intend it.  Others certainly do not.  But it happens anyway.

Lessons & Actions For You:

What can leaders learn from this?

Plenty.

Let's go back to the McGraw-Jakes example.  They had different views -- so who was right?

For my purposes here, it doesn't matter one hoot.  That's not the point of this piece.  (It's personal preference anyway.  In my view, heck, they both made good sense.)

The point I wish to drive home is, like most "tools", mob rule too can be use for both good and evil.  And as a leader, you have the position, title, and authority to use it either way.  Your choice.

The late Cavett Robert, founder of the National Speakers Association, said "Most people are walking around, umbilical cord in hand, just waiting for someone to plug it into."  Sadly, he's right.  Most people just follow the crowd.  Largely without opinions or viewpoints, they wait to see which way the majority will swing -- then go with it, assuming it must be right.

Unscrupulous leaders -- and there are plenty -- use this fact to their sinister advantage.

Honorable leaders use it too.  But for dignified, principled, virtuous means.

Please do not misunderstand me.  I do not mean to suggest that an honorable leader should NOT use the principle of mob rule to gain advantage.  On the contrary, any sales presentation, any persuasive speech, or any morale-building rally you've ever given is intended, most definitely, to sway people to your viewpoint, to your product, to your cause.  Hopefully in large numbers.

And that's a good thing.

As long as it is grounded in integrity, in truth, in ethics.

Rallying a crowd into a frenzy to storm a building and murder its defenseless inhabitants is one thing.  Rallying a crowd into a frenzy to storm a building and save a child's life is quite another.

Both require the same skill of persuasion to gain mob rule.  But one is for evil intent, the other for good.

I'll summarize with two thoughts.

• First, make the choice every morning to be an integrity-driven leader and only use mob rule for the best and highest good.
• And second, beware the mob rule that is used against you, your family, your team, and your organization.  Consider its purpose and intent before succumbing or joining in.  At times, you may only have a few brief seconds to decide.

Always walk the high ground.
__________________________________________________________

Rick Houcek is a regular contributor to ManagementRecruiter.com.  Rick facilitates off-site strategic planning retreats, helping CEOs and Leadership Teams create high-impact plans that overcome the crippling effects of lousy execution and get successfully implemented.  His Power Planning strategic process drives action through his Escape-Proof Accountability system.  It's ideal for small and mid-size businesses.  To bring this potent weapon to your team, contact Rick by phone, fax or email.  Visit his web site at Soar with Eagles.com.  Ask about his 100% No-Risk Guarantee.